Dec 12, 2012

YES, I'M A JEALOUS BITCH...



This weekend I ended up watching some crappy 2005-ish college comedy on cable starring Blake Lively, whom I think is drop-dead gorgeous. Anyway, I didn't even recognize her at first because her nose looked MUCH larger than I remembered! I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I couldn't have been more delighted! A-HA! Not so perfect after all (though she was definitely very pretty with her old nose). I even recall Kelly Osbourne on an episode of Fashion Police becoming equally excited over a photo of poor Blake in which cellulite was visible. Jealousy? Bitterness? Perhaps.

At any rate, this realization sent me googling for celebrities who've had work done, and I couldn't believe all the subtle rhinoplasty that has been going on around Hollywood! I was positively giddy at the prospect that these beautiful creatures were once mere mortals like me!  And I think more than just plan old envy, it also gave me a sense of relief. Relief that perhaps I am not so bad after all, even with my God-given, slightly crooked nose. Relief that, in reality, much of what we perceive as perfection is just an illusion-- and true beauty will always be on the inside.

If I were President... NOSE JOBS FOR EVERYONE!!!

May 17, 2012

Last Night a DRAG QUEEN Saved My Life...



People often ask me, "Desiree, just what is
your obsession with Drag Queens?!"

It's not a very difficult question for me to answer, since there are just SO MANY things I adore about the Fabulous World of Drag!  For me, drag queens are like the glitzy, gorgeous & glam fairy godmothers of my most self-indulgent, over-the-rainbow dreams!  I mean, they represent just about everything that I love ~ lots of sparkle, over-the-top fashions, music, dancing, fierce performances, cult cinema, comedy, sickening make-up artistry, subversive culture, gender-bending... 
I mean, really - what's not to love?!

Me, invading Venus D Lite's personal space...

But my adoration for these decadent creatures is more than skin-deep. Unfortunately, due to the small-mindedness of many in our society, most of these queens have had to endure a lot of suffering and heartache on their road to the throne ~ but in the end, they have become some of the most wonderful, caring and strong individuals you will ever meet!  This deeper side of drag - combined with all the fun & fantasy - has proven itself to be a magic elixer for me in my life. By doing what they do, these Queens have helped pull me through some very dark & difficult times. They've shown me that, come what may in life, you must always be true to yourself, love yourself...and for heaven's sake, child, do it with some panache!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all you fabulous girls for doing your thang...your talent, tucking and tears are never in vain. XOXO

LONG LIVE THE QUEENS!!!
There is no misconceiving the talent of Miss Conception...

Sharon Needles, latest winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
Gabriel Villarreal (aka Delta Work) poses with little ol' me!
The fabulous Kristie Champaigne of Velvet Lounge, Santa Ana
Delta Work (runner-up on RuPaul's Drag Race 3) at work.
The sickening Latrice Royale, runner-up on Drag Race 4



Apr 17, 2012

Sharon Needles/Drag Race Update: TOP THREE!

1. SHARON NEEDLES (my pick!)

Well, the season started with my favorite queen, Sharon Needles leading the pack...but I guess RuPaul didn't want to be accused of playing favorites ~ so for a few episodes now, my devestating queen of darkness seemed to have taken the backseat.  BUT, now that we're getting down to the nitty-gritty of the competition, the goth-underdog from Pittsburgh has once again pulled to the front position ~ proving she has most definitely has the charisma, uniqueness, NERVE and talent to win the race!  Go all the way Sharon!!!
#SharonNeedles

2. CHAD MICHEALS

At the beginning of the season, many wrote off this seasoned perfectionist as "nothing new" ~ but as Snow White and Chad Micheals prove,  one doesn't have to be a bitch to make it to the top.  While some of the other queens have felt it necessary to show their claws in this competition, Miss Micheals has shown us that grace, beauty, wisdom and talent can also get you far in life (...though the catty bitches are a little more fun to watch)! 
Good luck Chad - you're a true professional and one classy lady!


3. PHI PHI O'HARA


Don't hate her because she's beautiful ~ or a ROYAL bitch.  Phi Phi O'Hare is lovely, talented, and loud! This queen likes to argue - A LOT, and usually about why she's better than you.  As many of the younger competitors seem to prove, with youth - often comes a defensive, arrogant ATTITUDE.  Phi Phi is fierce, both in a good and bad way ~ but she has also shown a surprising softer side throughout the competition, revealing that underneath her bedazzled diva exterior, lies a sequined heart of gold lamé.


Of course if I had any say, the hilarious, fabulous and super-sweet Miss Latrice Royale would be in the top three rather than Phi Phi... MISS YOU, Sugar!


So - who will be named top dog in this competition - or should I say "top bitch"?  Stay tuned to find out...




Mar 22, 2012

CHAINSAWS, WHIP CREAM & MOHAWKS...OH MY!!!

To me, the first lady of punk has always been the indomitable Wendy O. Williams!

in·dom·i·ta·ble/inˈdämitəbəl/

Adjective:
Impossible to subdue; unable to be tamed

If you call yourself a punk fan, then you best know this lady's face!  Plasmatics front woman, Wendy O. Williams, aka "WOW", "The Queen of Punk" and "The Queen of Shock Rock" was one bad-ass bitch that proved she could hang with the boys ~ and kick their asses, if need be...

Onstage, Wendy O. Williams was a force to be reckoned with.  Besides sledgehammering TV's, she also enjoyed butchering guitars with a chainsaw and blowing up cars (yes, I said cars) onstage while performing - all while wearing little more than whip cream and a mohawk.  All this, combined with her aggressive and fearless vocal style, have cemented Miss Willam's place in history as a feminist pioneer, and one of punk's all-time greatest performers.


Petite, blonde with a gorgeous, tight bod - Miss Williams defied all stereotypes.  She turned the late 70's/early 80's punk scene on its ear, calling out even this subversive genre for its male-dominated hypocrisies.  Wendy, along with Yale graduate Rod Swenson, formed the Plasmatics in 1977, and remained it's only permanent members until its dissolution in 1983.  Her super-sexy, yet tough-as-nails look, combined with her dangerous & shocking onstage antics, created a larger than life persona - which unfortunately somewhat hid the very intelligent, passionate and progressive-thinking woman she truly was.

Wendy didn't just sledgehammer a TV onstage for shock value - it was symbolic of her abhorrence and frustration with greed & consumerism in modern society.  She didn't perform almost nude just to say "look at my tits" - but rather to scream "I am woman, hear me roar!"  Many do not realize that throughout her life, Wendy was a vegan, animal-rights activist, and natural foods advocate.  Throughout her career, Wendy was arrested several times, mostly for "indecency" charges - which further fueled her feminist attitudes regarding double-standards.  Though several of her male contemporaries had also been arrested during shows on indecency charges, none suffered this with more frequency than Miss Williams.  In the mug shot photo above, the injuries Wendy sustained were from the arresting officers, due to her  "resistance."  

Sadly, like many other gifted and dynamic performers, Wendy also had a lifelong struggle with depression, which was most likely due to an undiagnosed bipolar disorder.  In 1998, Wendy lost her battle with depression, and committed suicide with a self-inflicted gun shot wound.  She was 48.

Rest in Peace Wendy O. Williams, an indomitable free spirit and true pioneer!

For more info visit:

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Mar 13, 2012

Desiree's Favorite Moments in Comedy

When I decided to make this list, my instinct was to do what I always do when I feel confused & overwhelmed... give up, go home, and watch recorded episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race.  But that night, I tossed and turned - and in the dead of night was visited by the Spirit of Comedies Past (who appeared in the form of Chris Farley)!  The mighty specter bellowed at me "Do not forget those who have made you who you are!" ...and then found his way to my kitchen for a snack. When I awoke the next morning, I was unsure if what I had experienced was real or just a dream, but I knew one thing - I knew that I owed it to my most beloved comedic films to make this list! So here they are, in no particular order ~ some of my personal favorite outrageous, witty, inappropriate, ridiculous, over-the-top, pee-in-your-pants, and squirt-milk-through-your-nose, hilarious moments in comedy...

 RAISING ARIZONA - Huggies Heist & Chase Scene 
Apparently, the newfound pressures of family life seem to be getting to ol' H.I., as he relapses back into his criminal ways in this classic scene...

 ANCHORMAN - Crying over Baxter 
I can certainly understand one's grief when losing a pet, but in this scene, San Diego news anchor Ron Burgundy becomes completely unglued when he believes he beloved dog Baxter is dead...


 ELECTION - Seeing Tracy Flick Again 
Imagine seeing your most despised nemesis after many years and pathetically trying to pretend like it doesn't affect you...Why is thinly-veiled bitterness so damn funny?!


 THE BIG LEBOWSKI - Marmot in the Bathtub 
In a case of mistaken identity, German annihilists storm into the wrong Mr. Lebowski's home - aka "the Dude."  I love this scene, because it so closely describes what it feels like when trying to take a relaxing bath in a home with three sons...


 CLUE - Mrs. White "Flames" 
No matter how secure in yourself you are, I'm sure most of you have, at some point in your life, secretly hated someone due to jealousy, even if it was way back in kindergarten!  Here, with one word, Mrs. White describes the feeling to perfection...


 HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART 1 - The Eunich Test 
In this scene, our friend and slave-on-the-run, Josephus, tries to disguise himself as one of the Queen's guards in order to avoid certain death from the Roman authorities.  In order to prove whether or not he is a real eunich, Josephus is put to the ultimate test...


 YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN - Igor's Father's Words of Wisdom 
Like many of the aforementioned films, this one is riddled with great one-liners.  It is impossible to pick just one, but this is certainly one of my favs, that I can be overheard quoting quite often...

Mar 6, 2012

The Photography of Stephen Von Frankenstein


With his photographs, Stephen Von Frankenstein
 has mastered the delicate balance between sex and the macabre.  Though his work spans the spectrum between cheesecake and horror, it always retains the unmistakable stamp of Von Frankenstein-ness.  His lighter stuff has elements of darkness, and his even his darkest work somehow manages to bring eroticism or humor...

quite the colorful character himself, Mr. Von F was recently
featured in Tattoo Savage magazine
Stephen Von Frankenstein is an Orange County-based artist,
photographer, piercer & performer

LINKS

Mar 3, 2012

Ahhh, simplicity...artist Marc Johns

best t-shirt ever?
a funny, handwritten line or two...a silly little drawing...and somehow the results are touching, introspective, beautiful and hilarious all at once!  that is the beauty of art...and of artist marc johns.

pipe-smoking rabbit
screw it, said the dryer
just be famous...
if i had arms...

for ALL THINGS MARC JOHNS, check out these links!

Feb 29, 2012

I Love this Prostitute!

prostitute, circa 1912

A Story without Words...
From the tights, to the scarf/dress, to the drink in her hand, right down to the faraway, melancholy smile ~ I am in love with this photograph of an early 20th century working girl!

Feb 25, 2012

CHARLES ROBINSON: Master of the Golden Age of Illustration

The Golden Age of Illustration was a period of unprecedented excellence in book and magazine illustration (1880's - 1920's). It developed from advances in technology permitting accurate and inexpensive reproduction of art, combined with a voracious public demand for new graphic art.  One of the most amazingly talented & prolific artists to come from this time is children's book illustrator, Charles Robinson.

Charles came from a family of artisans & illustrators - which enabled him to study and master his craft at a young age.  Throughout his life & career, the majority of Robinson's work was commissioned illustrations for faerie tales, fables and other children's stories.  His predilection for creating fluid lines, interesting "negative" shapes and beautiful, ethereal figures help to cement Robinson's place in Art Nouveau history.  His work epitomizes the balance between delicacy and boldness that characterizes the style.  Due to the fact that art historians seem to focus on "fine artists," it is unfortunate that today, masters such as Charles Robinson are not a household name...






Feb 20, 2012

GOOD ACTORS... BAD HAIR

One of the biggest sacrifices an actor can make for a particular role is to wear a ridiculous-looking hairdo or hairpiece.  Here are a few notable examples of those whom have truly suffered for their art...


Bad, in a Good Way...
In these situations, the hair is an integral part of the character- and apparently, in order to play a really good psycho, you need really bad hair!

Javier Bardem's 70's bowl-cut adds to his creep factor
in No Country for Old Men

Sean Penn sports a sweet 'fro in
Carlito's Way

Charlize Theron's bad hair in Monster 
definitely says "man-hater"

BEST "BAD HAIR" OF ALL TIME:
Elsa Lanchester in The Bride of Frankenstein, 1935

Comedic Coifs...
When it comes to comedy, hair is always a great way to specify  a character's personality...

John Goodman as a high-strung vietnem vet in
The Big Lebowski

Bad hair, good bowling: Woody Harrelson and
Randy Quaid in Kingpin

Annoyingly perfect and perky Reese 
Witherspoon in Election

Melissa McCarthy's no fuss ponytail speaks
volumes in Bridesmaids

Bad, in a Bad Way...
Big budgets they may have had, but the following movie hairdo's are just plain don'ts!

Repeat-offender Nicolas Cage

Worst. Extensions. EVER.
Taylor Lautner in Twilight

In Thor, Sir Anthony Hopkins proves that a bad wig
can make even the most respected of actors look like an ass

Orlando Bloom's pompous pompadour made me snicker more tha
swoon, in Hollywood's latest stab at The Three Musketeers

Today, this early 90's version of The Three Musketeers looks 
very...well...early 90's (and yes, that's Charlie Sheen)